don’t cross breed donkeys with lizards
So, I randomly asked the lovely people in TF chat what I should write about, and the first subject to come up was "Don't cross breed donkeys with lizards."
Makes sense, right? I mean, really. Can you imagine what that would look like? There are several different scenarios we could go with here.
* Imagine a little green lizard. Maybe think about the gecko from the Geico commercials. Only…he's a gecko. Not a lizard. But whatever. Now, imagine this lizard with a mane, tail, and a horse face. Whenever someone would try to catch this lizard, he'd lose his tail. That's a lot of hair, people. Furthermore, he'd shed his skin. Which could easily be tangled up in the mane or tail, and that shit would just cause TOO many problems!
* Or, take a donkey. A donkey with short little green legs, the body of a donkey, the tail of a lizard, the head of a lizard. Or, hell, we can give the donkey his normal legs. I do have a bit of sensitivity going on here, somewhat, anyway. Let's give him normal legs. Because I can't really imagine a donkey with lizard legs.Now, just throw in a long green tail, and a small green head. The tail would shed. And let's make sure the tail still breaks off when being chased. Because tails falling off? They're really cool.
So. You see what I mean? Except now I'm leaning toward actually cross-breeding lizards and donkeys. Because how freaking cool would it be for a donkey's tail to fall off when feeling threatened? Sure, it's a lot of hair (unless we go with Lizard McLizard's tail, which would still be awesome), but it'd just be so cool.
If only donkeys could have tails like lizards. My life would be complete. (Well, not really, but you know what I mean.) Ahem. Anyway. To prevent donkeys with really short lizard legs that would result in their bellies scraping the ground (ouch!)…no cross-breeding donkeys or lizards.
And that's that.
(Real time: Worked from 9:30 – 4PM today. Ate apple dippers from McDonald's. Came home, ate fruit salad. Really freaking wired right now. And rambling. And FUN. Yep yep. And listening to Within Temptation…but what else is new? XOXOXOXO)
back to work
I’m either really stupid, insane, or both. Well, both, really. I know this. Too many fucking medicines to not know this. (I have been in a “rant about medicines and shit” mood all day.)
Anyway. I went back to Long John Silver’s today. It was really sudden, too. Kim called and she goes, “You want to work?” I said “Sure.” She asked when I was available, I said today. “Well, want to come in then?”
“Okay!”
So, I worked from 5:30 – 10:30 tonight. It wasn’t half bad, actually. I like working with Kim. I worked with Dewann, too, and he’s not half bad when he’s not checking me out. Ha! Which is about 1/20th of the time, but whatever. It’s an ego boost. And he never acts on it. He just looks. A lot. And it doesn’t really bother me anymore– it did at first, but you kind of get used to it after 2 straight years of working followed by two summers’ worth of working.
On the upside, Kim’s running the store now. Which means I get full-time hours. FINALLY. I really need them. Mom and I have been talking about putting a down payment on a car– SOON. ‘Cause it’s a bitch trying to share cars all the fucking time, and she’s starting to realize it. She had a good day today, which makes me feel a lot better.
Anyway. I’ve felt kind of ‘off’ all day today. I don’t know why, I don’t really know what the fuck is up, but I have that same ringing in my ears I have the other night, and my vision’s a bit off. Whatever. I’m bitter at the moment. Very bitter. I’m so tired of this. (Rhia… <3.)
I want a haircut. And plastic surgery. A tummy tuck. Gastric bypass. Something. I feel fat. (Yay, I’ve been put on a diet *again*.) And it’s not really an ego boost to be told you should lose 30-50 pounds. Not at all.
I’m so bitter right now. What the fuck ever. I don’t really care.
what’s happening to me?
It's been a….painful day today. Aside from mom going into one of her "episodes" that I don't really want to talk about.
This morning I had an episode of my own. I think. I'm not really talking about it, it freaked even me out. You know that snowy static that goes on television when a channel goes out? I don't know if I was asleep or awake or what. But that static flashed in front of my eyes, and my body started jerking. Black and white little streaks. Exactly like the static on TV. All over the place.
And I was concious. I think I was awake, too. It didn't last long. Not long at all. But it was the black and white static-y thing, and there was this shrill noise. Like a sharp ringing in my ears. Then it stopped. And I've been really spacey all day. After mom had her episode (it's just easier to say that than deal with the "Mom went on a stark raving mad rampage and freaked me, my grandmother, and K out" over and over again), I took the car and drove around pretty aimlessly. Hindsight, I really shouldn't have. I went to Starbucks and got a drink, and then just came back home. And I still feel really dazed and out of it.
And I don't want to say much about it, 'cause I'm kind of freaked. So I haven't mentioned it to anyone until tonight. I'm talking to Billy about it right now, 'cause he kind of understands this whole deal, but I'm just still freaked. That's never really happened before. It's NEVER happened before. I don't know if I was awake or asleep. I just know I was conscious, I knew my body was jerking, and there was that static and shrill noise.
So I'm freaked. And I've had this persistent, mild headache all day, and very quiet ringing in my ears. My vision's been *slightly* blurry today, even with glasses on. I've never been conscious during a seizure, so I don't know what it was. It wasn't a dream. I just don't know what happened.
heart attacks from creaking stairs
Brief story time before I pass the fuck out for tonight.
Once I start breathing.
So, I'm sitting here, clicking around TF, talking to Billy and a couple other friends, and I hear this creaking on the staircases. I ignore it at first. I have a hyperactive imagination on the best of nights. (Hence my nightmares occuring every single night. It's bad when the worst ones are the only ones that wake you up anymore, and they make even horror actors cringe. Bad analogy, but whatever).
Back to my imagination.
I know I have a crazy imagination. So I ignore it, thinking I'm hearing things. Um, no. I hear steps. And then creaking stairs again. So, I tiptoe over to the staircase. (Yes, tiptoe, I'm a dancer. Besides, my mom was asleep in here, so, I'm not gonna wake HER up.) I get about halfway up the stairs, and someone dark lands in front of me, coming down the stairs.
I scream.
My grandmother screams.
Turns out she'd gotten up to get something to drink from the kitchen. Now we're both getting cussed out by my (now awake) mother.
Fun times. Once my heart settles down, I'm going to pass out.
flying away
So, I ran away for a bit. To Texas, to rest in the wonderful arms of complete serenity. (Mostly, anyway.) A much, much needed vacation. Except now it feels weird to be back. It feels weird to start updating again. I didn't really want to start writing again, but Chris (<3) told me to. Well, not so simply, but anyway, he did encourage me to pick it back up again.
So. *picks up pen* This is it. I don't really feel like writing very much right now. I have much to say, especially about my trip to Texas, but I'm very much out of sorts right now. Not sure why, either, but the feeling is there. I did have a wonderful time in Texas. I just wish I'd had more time there.
It's the one thing I hate the most right now. Having fun, so much fun, despite the occasional arguments. Knowing and feeling that serenity I mentioned earlier, only to have to leave it again. And again. And again. Grrr. All that aside, though, it was great fun, honestly. We went to the zoo, to the Scarborough Faire, ate out at various places, saw X-Men III, and visited Austin. Had a bit of a misadventure with Chris's car, but that's all worked out now :) and didn't bake as many cookies as usual. (Though I did make spaghetti that would have been better with more sauce! LOL)
The zoo was wonderful. Skipping around looking at animals. I felt like a little kid. Okay, maybe a little kid who is exceptionally skilled with a camera, but still a little kid. The pictures: Baby Bobcat, Bald Eagle, Crocodile, Pile of turtles, Elephant, Giraffe, Hippo, Zebra, Flamingoes, Rhinos, Apes (or Gorillas?), Monkey (chilling), Lion, Lioness and Cubs, Bear, Tiger, Another Tiger Picture, Another Tiger Picture, White Tiger, Another White Tiger Picture, Another White Tiger Picture (How freaking cute is this??). Anyway. Yeah. So…those are just a few of the pictures I took. I ended up with about 160+, but I didn't upload that many. I didn't really feel like killing my internet connection all at once. So I had a great time at the zoo.
And at the Faire! I ended up barefoot a lot of the time. And listened to more perverted jokes than my uncle could have ever told me in a million years. It was fabulous! ;) I also had some damn good pretzels, and saw this really awesome musical instrument. And bought the CD for it. And now have Carol of the Bells playing on my computer now. I just wanted to be insulted! Except I have to admit that (you know, being blonde and all), I don't think it would have been much of a challenge for Christoph to find something to insult me for…. *ahem*
So I've done a complete one-eighty from the time I started this entry until now. But I'll wrap this part up here, and I'll end up talking more about everything later. Ciao.
i killed it.
i put the kitten down today. it was so unhappy. i couldn't do it. it was paralyzed. its front paws, they were paralyzed.
i love it so much. i feel like a failure. but it got to me. it couldn't move out of its own pee. i couldn't do it. i gave up.
i failed that kitten. i failed stormy.
i hate myself so much right now. i hate this, i hate me. god, i put it to sleep. i had it put down.
i fucking gave up. it couldn't move. it was so lifeless.
my fucking god, i'm losing it. i can't. i can't do this. i failed that kitten.
i can't breathe.
kitten update: day 3
She’s doing better. It’s hard to imagine it’s only been a few days, and I still feel like I’m going to turn gray prematurely. All that being said–
Her front paws are getting a little bit straighter, but they’re still deformed. I’m going to start splinting them tomorrow– I’ve been waiting for a few days for her to get stronger.
Which she is. She’s eating more, staying awake more, and whining when I’m not holding her enough It’s …day three, I think, now. This Saturday, I’m taking her in for shots/etc. (Because I leave to go to Texas on Sunday, and that’s a day that my mother won’t have to take care of her– she’s not a cat person! But she’s agreed to feed and care for the kitten while I am away. )
She’s got such pretty blue eyes. She’s got this amazingly soft fur, and she just seems so happy! Don’t get me wrong, I mean, she’s still so tiny, and she fusses if I don’t hold her until she falls asleep, but she’s just so…peaceful. Happy, and peaceful, and it seems like she’s healthier. I’m hoping so, anyway.
I am sooooooooooo in love with this kitten. And soooooooo encouraged that she’s getting better already. I don’t know if we’re over the hump or not, because I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I’m feeling really optimistic in spite of myself. I am not an optimistic person. And I don’t want to be optimistic, but I am right now. I loe this kitten so much.
Pictures!
Sleeping in its box
Resting on my lap
Awake but chilling (that’s a toy mouse under its chin)
A bit blurry, but wide awake
bringing the baby home
So, I brought the kitten home.
My mother kind of goes… “What the hell have you done?” And all I said was, “I couldn’t leave it alone!”
Which, really, I couldn’t. My mom knows how I am, so now I am nursing a kitten back to health.
The backstory:
There is this stray cat that went and gave birth to four kittens at my cousin’s house. I went over there yesterday, and one kitten was dead, two are perfectly healthy, and Stormy (I’m temp. calling her Stormy Hope, because I think it’s actually a he now, post-bowel-stimulation) was tiny. Bone-thin, weak, and can’t even walk. I kind of wrestled the mother cat down for about an hour so that Stormy could feed, and she ate. And ate. Eventually we left, to go see the Da Vinci Code, and when we came back, the mother was at least laying down with it. Yesterday I went over there, and yet again wrestled the mother cat, and let Stormy feed again. This time the mother cat stayed still with Stormy eating for a while (yesterday my arms got all kinds of torn up). Stormy ate some more, and I was able to get both of her eyes open. She seems more alert, and is looking around and all. But, I don’t really think she’s getting fed unless I’m wrestling the mother cat, so I brought Stormy home with me. I went to this Animal Medical Hospital, got a small bottle and cat milk for kittens, and they told me how to feed it and get it to go to the bathroom and all, which I’m doing. It’s probably about a month old, if not older, but it’s so weak it might as well be a 2-week-old-kitten. I fed her a little bit more with the formula, now she’s sleeping on my lap. (Just a side note– not only is she the runt, but her front paws are a bit deformed, and I don’t know if they’ll develop and straighten out with time or what.)
So, the update today:
The vet said (when I took her down there to get the stuff) that she’s lost a lot of blood because she’s got a LOT of fleas on her. So it’s a little bit of damage control, too.
I bought some baby food (beef, for the iron) and mixed it with a tiny bit of formula– she ate a couple bites of that, (yay!) and then took the bottle. Now she’s resting. Oh, and I bought some flea spray, sprayed it on a paper towel, and wiped her down with that. (The vet said that spraying it directly was way too strong for her, as was powder and a flea collar, and that’s what she said to do.)
Now she’s resting. But she is going to the bathroom on her own now, so I know she’s not dehydrated. She still can’t walk, but she’s definitely getting stronger. I was holding her against my chest, and when I tried to pull her away to lay her down, she held on with her claws– from her front paws! So that made me excited.
It doesn’t sound like much, but it is. Baby steps. Also, she kind of pushed herself up a little bit in her box. She fell almost right back over, but… :-D
I am SO FREAKING TIRED though. I haven’t slept at all. I slept a couple of hours, but the rest of the time is feeding her, staying up with her. I still wish I knew if it was a girl or boy, but… LOL. The important thing now is getting her healthy. I also bought her a few tiny mice to play with, and she sniffed them, licked them, and fell asleep again!
I do have pictures, though. :) The face shot and A full shot. Next week, the day I leave for Texas, I’m dropping her off at the vet to get some shots, and a bit more care. Other than that, I’m pretty sure Mom’s going to take care of her. (Shocking!) Which, I mean, she doesn’t require much care. Eat, sleep, change the bedding, rinse, lather, repeat. ;)
