time’s passing by us
So, I am back in Alabama. It feels very, very surreal. Not being home…I actually don't mind being home for once. My biggest problem with being home is feeling trapped because I can't drive anywhere, and am stuck at home unless picked up (which makes me feel like a child). Nothing personal against my mother or anyone else, it's just driving me absofuckinglutely crazy.
My mother and I actually are getting along. We have a mother-daughter project we're going to start working on– a scrapbook of my college life thus far. I am (shockingly) REALLY excited to do this. My mom used to scrapbook all the time, and I know she really enjoys it, and I do too. I have a bunch of stuff saved from my freshman year and this year, and earlier today ordered prints of about 47 digital pictures I have of my freshman and sophomore years.
I was standing outside the car today, about to get in, after I'd finished loading all my stuff into the car. It hit me that next year, I will be a Junior, and after my Junior year…I'll be a Senior, and then I'll graduate. It feels surreal. I just started my Sophomore year not that long ago. And it's gone. It's over. I want it back.
I'm not sure what the point of this is. I just freaked out earlier, and everyone's asking me how it feels to be going into my Junior year, how it feels to have two years of college under my belt. How am I supposed to answer that? I know logically, I should be excited and thrilled and happy to move on. Instead, I am absolutely terrified. And I don't even know why I'm terrified. I'm almost completely done with my Women's Studies degree, and I'm getting certified in Early Childhood Education. I have plans for my future, I know (essentially) that I'll have a job, that I'll be perfectly self-supporting. I know where I stand, I know where I'm going, but it just feels like it's moving so very, very fast.
